Top 10 Civil Woofigation Dog Lawyers

Listed below are ten of the top legal blunders made by either lawyers or witnesses during US court trials. The following are real extracts taken from official court records. I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But maybe also something incredibly stupid….


Top 10 Civil Woofigation Dog Lawyers

BONUS CONTENT: Top 10 Funniest Legal Blunders


Dog Reading Law Books
Dog Reading Law Books

10 – Diagnosis: Death

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Dog Reading Law Books
Dog Reading Law Books

9 – A Crime of Fashion

Lawyer: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

8 – You can choose your family but not your lawyers…

Lawyer: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
Witness: She is my daughter.
Lawyer: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

7 – Picture Perfect

Lawyer: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
Witness: That’s me.
Lawyer: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

6 – If you go down to the woods today…

Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Witness: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

5 – A Matter of Life and Stupidity

Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me’
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Witness: No

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

4 – Till Death Do Us Part

Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

3 – Crash!

Lawyer: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

2 – Something Spooky

Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

1- Age before IQ

Lawyer: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.

14 thoughts on “Top 10 Civil Woofigation Dog Lawyers”

  1. Ah, sorry to hear that, Russell, as some of my readers enjoyed the re-blogs of your “Caturday” posts in particular. Since I also blog on WordPress, I can hardly criticize your move! 😉

    By the way, I have been a trial lawyer for 38 years and have seen some funny and weird stuff in the courtroom. Always fun to read about others.

  2. Sadly there is no Re-Blog option any more because I have moved to wordpress.org, but I just appreciate you taking the time to read the post, let alone anything else! So thank you.

  3. Great collection, Russell. I particularly enjoyed the joining up of the funny transcripts with the dog photos, my favorite of which is #3.

    I would reblog this on my “Free Legal Advice Isn’t Worth What You Pay For It” WordPress blog, but I don’t see the “re-blog” option — have you removed it?

  4. Good Morning Russell! This one is a winner! I was eating my morning cereal and reading and guffawing all at the same time – not the prettiest of sights! What a great way to start my Monday off!

    I particularly like the photo that goes with #5 for some reason – maybe it’s just a particularly good shot…… and I really couldn’t stop laughing from #10 all the way to #1 with some really loud guffaws thrown in randomly between the two. Good job 🙂

  5. I like the ones asking people if they were killed or dead. Of course number 10 is a classic… Just to be fair, number 1 is not an issue with the lawyer…

Which one did you like?