Top 10 Civil Woofigation Dog Lawyers

Listed below are ten of the top legal blunders made by either lawyers or witnesses during US court trials. The following are real extracts taken from official court records. I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But maybe also something incredibly stupid….


Top 10 Civil Woofigation Dog Lawyers

BONUS CONTENT: Top 10 Funniest Legal Blunders


Dog Reading Law Books
Dog Reading Law Books

10 – Diagnosis: Death

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Dog Reading Law Books
Dog Reading Law Books

9 – A Crime of Fashion

Lawyer: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

8 – You can choose your family but not your lawyers…

Lawyer: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
Witness: She is my daughter.
Lawyer: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

7 – Picture Perfect

Lawyer: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
Witness: That’s me.
Lawyer: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

6 – If you go down to the woods today…

Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Witness: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

5 – A Matter of Life and Stupidity

Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me’
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Witness: No

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

4 – Till Death Do Us Part

Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

3 – Crash!

Lawyer: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

2 – Something Spooky

Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer
Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

1- Age before IQ

Lawyer: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.

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