Listed below are ten of the top legal blunders made by either lawyers or witnesses during US court trials. The following are real extracts taken from official court records. I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But maybe also something incredibly stupid….


BONUS CONTENT: Top 10 Funniest Legal Blunders


Dog Reading Law Books

Dog Reading Law Books

10 – Diagnosis: Death

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Dog Reading Law Books

Dog Reading Law Books

9 – A Crime of Fashion

Lawyer: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

8 – You can choose your family but not your lawyers…

Lawyer: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
Witness: She is my daughter.
Lawyer: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

7 – Picture Perfect

Lawyer: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
Witness: That’s me.
Lawyer: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

6 – If you go down to the woods today…

Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Witness: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

5 – A Matter of Life and Stupidity

Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me’
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
Witness: No

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

4 – Till Death Do Us Part

Lawyer: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Lawyer: And by whose death was it terminated?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

3 – Crash!

Lawyer: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

2 – Something Spooky

Lawyer: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
Witness: We both do.
Lawyer: Voodoo?
Witness: We do.
Lawyer: You do?
Witness: Yes, voodoo.

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

Dog Dressed as a Lawyer

1- Age before IQ

Lawyer: How old is your son, the one living with you?
Witness: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Lawyer: How long has he lived with you?
Witness: Forty-five years.

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