Typically in a divorce people focus on how the woman feels, but you need to remember that men feel it just as much as women do. In the past and still today, society has dictated that men should be unemotional and should not show their vulnerability in the way that women do. If they do, they are seen as weak and feminine and this just isn’t true. Stereotypes like this have made it really hard for men to express their feelings to others.
Not being able to express yourself or feel like you have no one you can express yourself with can lead to you feeling very lonely and isolated and even frustrated by the situation. This has serious negative mental as well as physical effects on your health. This is why it is so important that you break free from these stereotypes and break free from the confines of a potentially negative mental space. Here are 10 things you should do when going through a divorce.
-
Avoid Doing Nothing
First and foremost, it is important that you don’t allow yourself to get depressed. When you leave things to pile up it can become overwhelming and it is very easy to slip into despair. You still have responsibilities that won’t go away and doing nothing only makes things worse. It is important that you keep your mind busy and that you do things that keep you upbeat. Many people tend to isolate themselves when going through a divorce, which is difficult to avoid, but you need to try. Try to keep up with your usual routine and surround yourself with people who will keep you in a positive headspace.
-
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
If you are someone who finds it difficult to ask for help, there isn’t a better time to ask for it than the present. Our best advice for men is to remember divorce is something you shouldn’t have to go through alone. It is unfortunately very easy to fall down the rabbit hole of drugs and alcohol. You might think that you are fine and that you can handle it on your own, but as soon as you find yourself acting out of the ordinary, it’s time to ask for help.
You don’t need to have a destructive divorce. When you speak to your family and friends about what you are going through, they form your support structure and are able to help with things when you find yourself dipping. If you do not have a good relationship with your family or are too ashamed to speak to anyone you know about what you are going through, you should look for a therapist. Their advice can really help you make more logical decisions and understand how to express what you are going through in a healthy way.
-
Reach Out to Others Who’ve Gone Through The Same Thing
Join a support group online, or in person. It can be really therapeutic to mix with people who have gone through the same thing you are going through. They can help you handle your situation as effectively as possible and cope with what you are going through. It is important that you meet up with people who have gone through a divorce successfully and can give you good advice. If you meet up with someone who went through a terrible divorce and is still struggling it could negatively affect your experience.
-
Make Yourself Familiar with the Divorce Process
The more you know, the more you know. It is much easier to go through a divorce when you are educated in your rights during divorce. Something we haven’t touched on yet is how hard it can be financially. The more knowledgeable you are, the less likely you are to suffer considerable financial damages. There are so many things to consider financially when you get divorced. These include things such as the division of assets and child support, and cannot be done in a rush.
-
Stay Involved with Your Kids
During this time it is important that you still spend time with your kids. Talk to them regularly and do the same things you would have done with them before. Go to school meetings as well as other activities to show your support for them as this is tough on all of you.
-
Move Somewhere Your Kids Can Hang Out
When you and your partner separate, it is not ideal to live under the same roof. One of you has to move out. If you share children and have decided that you are the one who is going to leave, it is important that you move somewhere your kids can still stay with you.
-
Be Respectful Towards Your Ex
Regardless of what your spouse has or hasn’t done, it is important that you keep things civil. Be nice to them regardless of what’s going on, especially if you have kids together. Keep your temper under control and try your best not to get provoked if they try to provoke you. This will keep things far less complicated and make any negotiations flow better and in your favour.
-
Find a Good Lawyer
It’s important that you find yourself a reputable lawyer to handle your legal matters. Choosing someone on a whim can have seriously negative consequences and waste a large amount of money. A good lawyer will guide you through your divorce for a favourable outcome.
-
Avoid Taking the Issue to Court
Court makes things really complicated and expensive, so don’t go that route unless you absolutely have to. Rather try to solve things between the two of you. The biggest reason to avoid court is that the second you enter the room you lose control of your divorce outcome. Someone else is in charge of the outcome. A very small percentage of the final decision is actually based on the law. Most of it is up to the judge’s perception of the case and they are usually more biased towards women.
-
Start Meditating
This is a good way to relax during the stress of your divorce. Find something that helps you meditate and keeps you in a good headspace.
This is a very hard thing to go through. You don’t have to go through it by yourself. We hope that this list helps you to transition through your divorce in a healthy way.
