Jean-Claude Van Damme aka the “Muscles from Brussels” aka Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg is an awesome machine of annihilation. With his martial art skills, amazing 90s action movies, the ability to do the splits and taking on 30 guys at once bare hands, you know HE IS THE MAN! (not so much these days, but still pretty cool back in the day). But did you know the guy is also a secret Philosopher?
The guy was once a legend and while I want to make it clear that this top 10 funny Van Damme quotes post is in no way making fun of the guy, but it does show he isn’t…all there! I’m uncertain if all of these quotes actually came out of Jean-Claude Van Damme mouth and how many of them have been taken out of context or have been fluctuated by drugs. But having read recent news stories about him I am pretty sure they are indeed his own words…
10 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “I’m the god of cloud karate.”
9 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “Showing myself nude from behind doesn’t pose any problems but from the front that’s another story. I don’t want to lose all my fans!”
8 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “You don’t need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.”
7 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “If you phone a psychic and she doesn’t answer the phone before it rings, hang up.”
6 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “We, humans, invented time. But time doesn’t exist, because there’s a matter, a power of compression that isn’t the same for every species on Earth.”
5 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she’s good with the housework.”
4 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.”
3 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.”
2 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It’s soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.”
1 – Jean-claude Van Damme Quote: “I’m fast, why? Because I eat vegetables.”
That’s your lot, folks. What do you think? Do you think Jean-Claude actually said these quotes or do you believe that people have been trying to bend the truth? All of these quotes are floating about online and some have been taken and have been translated from French, just so you know.