Every profession requires a certain level of prowess and determination to be successful, and crime is not any different. Robbers and burglars are not exactly people you expect to laugh at, but these ones were laughable. While you expect the criminals to be smart and careful when committing the crimes that could get them caught if not killed, some just end up making the last mistake you would expect. From a robber that shot himself while robbing a hotdog truck then called 911 to a burglar that decided to take a nap after packing his loot. These 10 are just the dumbest thieves that ever lived.
The Robber That Asked His Victim For A Check
On November 3, 1978, Charles Merriweather, then aged 18, entered a woman’s house in Baltimore, assaulted, and raped her. The 34-year old government employee didn’t expect what came next, though. Charles asked for all the money she had, and she gave him the only $11 in the house. “You sure this is all you got?” Charles asked, and, of course, that’s all the scared victim had in cash.
“How do you pay your bills?” Charles asked. “By Check!” The woman replied. “Well then, write me one for $30, no make that $50,” Charles said. “Who shall I address the check to?” The poor woman asked because even a check to a robber needs a recipient, right? “Charles A. Merriweather, and it better not bounce, or I’ll be back.” He said. Well, he never came back because the police tracked him down and caught him a few hours later.
The Robber That Shot Himself In The Penis
That’s right; he shot himself in the penis. When you decide to rob people at gunpoint, you should at least know how to handle the gun properly. Terrion Pouncy robbed a couple of their cell phones, and cash brandishing a gun at them in November 2017. While making his escape, the .38 Pouncy carried went off while holstered in his belt.
The pain was unbearable, forcing him to call an ambulance. While in hospital, the police identified his bloody pants, which had been captured on a CCTV camera at the crime scene while he was fleeing. The couple’s valuables were returned while Pouncy confessed to his Karma-interrupted crime. He was arrested and taken to court immediately after his treatment.
The Thief That Ran Into A Tiger’s Den
Visiting the zoo and animal reserves is always a fun event whenever you visit South Africa. There is, however, the problem of muggers who take advantage of park visitors taking their valuables. One mugger robbed a couple at the Bloemfontein zoo in 2005, but the security guards saw him and gave a chase. With nowhere to run to, he jumped over the zoo fence and “disappeared.” He was found the following day by visitors in the den of a Bengal tiger. The tiger killed him but didn’t bother to eat him because it had been fed the day before.
The Bank Robber That Shot Himself In The Foot
Shooting yourself in the foot is always used figuratively until you ask this Brazilian bank robber. The three robbers were holding up a bank in Parana, Brazil, when the guy they left as the lookout messed with his pistol. The man shot himself in the foot, forcing his friends to cut the robbery short and flee. He managed to stumble after his friends and make the escape with the money. He could have left the police an address to his place, though, as his blood trail led the police straight to his hideout a few blocks away. He gave up all the six accomplices involved in the robbery.
The Burglar That Fell Asleep
The first rule of being a Burglar is that you cannot sleep on the job, whether figuratively or literally. Dion Davis broke into a home in Nokomis, Sarasota County, FL. in 2014, and stole jewellery and other valuables from the house. However, before making his getaway, he decided to take a nap. He didn’t expect the cleaning lady to come home when she did, though, and even didn’t wake up while she called the police. The Sheriff’s deputies found him still sleeping next to his loot and even took a photo of the whole thing before arresting him.
The Thief That Wore Stolen Boots To Trial
It is rude to deny your crimes before a court when everyone identifies you as the robber they saw. However, when you come to trial with the same boots you are accused of stealing, it becomes an insult on sanity. The defendant was Charles Taylor, who robbed a shoe store in 1996 and took money as well as a pair of tan hiking boots. During his trial in March 1997, Taylor denied all charges but sat and placed his feet on the table. As rude as that was, it only earned him a barefooted trip to jail to serve a 15-year prison term. The Judge looked at Taylor’s feet and realized he was wearing the same boots he was being accused of stealing. He said. “Surely, no one would be stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial!” He ordered the boots to be returned to the store.
The Bank Robber That Gave The Teller His Name And Address
Dean Smith of Rhondda Cynon Taf, Wales, went to a bank to update his details which included his full name and home address. He also happened to be in desperate need of cash at the time and happened to see the cash at the tills as the solution to his problems. He came back to the bank 30 minutes later armed with a bread knife; his eyes disguised with sunglasses, but the staff could still identify him as the guy whose details they just updated a few minutes earlier.
He also put his socks over his shoes, which was a smart move for disguising his shoe print. Smith, however, wasn’t scared enough and the staff at the bank refused to give him money, forcing him to flee empty-handed. The Cashier that had just changed his details also remembered him and told the police exactly where to get him.
The Thief That Left His Homework At The Crime Scene
18-Year Old Dallas Naljahih broke into an old couple’s home in Utah and robbed them. The old man saw the burglar searching through his drawers and taking stuff. He confronted the intruder who punched him in the face and fled. The intruder, however, left him indisputable evidence; A flash drive containing his school homework with his full name and other details. The police found poor Naljahih sleeping at his parents’ home and arrested him for burglary. He probably didn’t submit that homework either!
The Burglar That Knocked His Accomplice Out
These two burglars got every rib-cracking in February 2018 when the Chinese Public Security Bureau released the footage of their bungled operation. It happened shortly after midnight when the two tried to break into a shop by hurling bricks at the window. The first guy did his job, and then while trying to move away and give his colleague the same opportunity, he walked straight into the path of his partner’s brick. The brick hit him in the head, knocking him out cold. Instead of carrying their loot, the surviving burglar only got to carry his passed-out colleague home. The police said, “If all burglars were like this, we wouldn’t have to work overtime.”
ATM Robbers That Carried The Wrong Equipment To Work
In June 2019, the Okaloosa county Sherriff released still photos of two men whom they were hunting down for attempting to rob an ATM. The two tried to blow off the hinges, but they seem to have carried the wrong equipment, or they were just terrible at handling a blowtorch. The hinges were welded shut top to bottom instead of coming off, forcing the two to walk away with nothing.