Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show

When you work from home it is hard not to get easily distracted. So today I have been side watching an episode of the Jeremy Kyle Show, and while only us here in the UK will get this post I felt I had to write it anyway. So here is my…


Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show


Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle Show DNA Results

10 – Gets your facts straight

Shouting “…That’s a FACT!” at the end of every sentence, even when the context makes no sense e.g. “Why don’t you get a job? That’s a FACT!” (Er…no it isn’t, Jeremy, it’s a question!)

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle ‘celebrity’

9 –Cousin It

Referring to children as “it” (“…Are you going to start letting this child see its father”?) while criticising guests if they do the same.

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle Toilet

8 – Role Play

Casting all his guests into stereotypical roles two seconds after they’ve first set foot on the stage “So, are you the Voice Of Reason?”/”I can tell you’re a bit of a Cheeky Chappie”/”You seem like a really nice bloke” and then persisting in sticking to those first impressions even if faced with irrefutable evidence to the contrary.

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle Show Flow Chart

7 – Opportunity Drinks

Grabbing every opportunity to tell stories which he believes show him in a good light “I used to drive all night to see my kids without any sleep” Didn’t you have a terrible drink problem Jezza?!? I think so! So that means you regularly drove to see your kids blind drunk and endangering other road users!

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Terminator on the Jeremy Kyle Show

6 – Brave-heart

Constantly telling wife-batterers (the one doing the beating) how “brave” they are for “coming on the show and putting their hands in the air” AAGGRERH!!

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Good Teeth on the Jeremy Kyle Show

5 – All I want for Christmas….

Verbally beating the guest villain (usually absent father/drunk mother etc) then when they burst into tears he says ‘I know underneath it all you are a good person…..’

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle Meme

4 – Yay or Nay?

Adding to the end of each question “YES OR NO?” even when it was not a question in the first place!

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle Social Media

3 – Getting Social

Telling naughty guests “I’m going to give you both barrels” as if he’s Charles Dickens promising an audience another master work

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle Audience

2 – The Truth?

His inability to understand the concept of the phrase ‘The lie detector is 96% accurate’. This means 1 result in 25 could be wrong, but this doesn’t stop him from treating the piece of paper in his hand like the Magna Carta. The closest he comes is sarcastically telling the alleged liar “Oooooh, so I suppose you’re one of the 4%?” Well, yes Jezza, they really could be!

Top 10 Things I Hate About the Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle as Bruce Lee

1 – Growing Up

Saying “Where I am from that sort of thing..etc”He’s from Reading, Berkshire! Is Reading basically a utopian society?!? I think not. It is a real city with real problems, some of them worst than anywhere else!

5 Comments

  1. Tom December 31, 2013
  2. Russell Deasley December 29, 2013
  3. Jennifer December 29, 2013

Which one did you like?