Back in 2012 author Matthew Inman wrote the very funny book “How to Tell If Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You” that I have read with much joy. But looking around the web I have discovered there are some rather scary images featuring that very same book….
BONUS CONTENT: Top 10 Strange Ways To Die
Cat peeking over the arm of a sofa
10 – “I think its time I had a little chat with you.”
In 1974 John Kendrick was killed by a cannonball that was fired out of a canon that was giving him a 13 gun salute in his honour! Much a case of “Thanks for the mention, but no thanks.”
Cat getting ready to attack
9 – “Attack you? No I’m tired of your deluded conspiracy theories!”
In 1871 Clement Vallandigham accidentally shot himself with a gun. The strange part was that at the time he as in court demonstrating to a jury how his client might have accidentally shot his victim! Case proven your honour.
Cat Looking over shoulder
8 – “Why can I smell fear in this room?!?”
In 1920 Alexander I Of Greece was killed by a monkey falling out of a tree. At the time he was part of a team of people on a hunt anyway so it kind of serves him right.
Cat sat on the book
7 – “From this day forth, this is a non-reading house, GOT IT?”
in 1940 Marcus Garvey was reading the morning papers like he always did. But sadly for him this morning the paper had made a mistake and accidentally printed an obituary about himself! The shock of reading about his own death made him have a stoke and killed him anyway.
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Cat with the book and looking angry
6 – “I found this. Me and you are going to take a little drive.”
In 1979 poor old New York Jets fan John Bowen was struck by a half-time show prop that was a modified flying lawnmower! The controller apparently lost control and the flying mower went into the crowd.
Cat peeking over sofa
5 – “Kill you? No way. After all, who would feed me?!?”
We all laugh when we see our friends get him in the privates with a tennis ball, but in 1983 Dick Wertheim had the same thing happen to him, but while curling over double from the pain of it he hit his head on the pavement and died!
Cat with the book and a knife
4 – “Your home early, and look I found your book! …we need to talk.”
Hans Steininnger from Australia was famous for reasons. He had the Countries longest beard and dying because if it. You see his beard was so long that while walking he had to roll it up in order to walk, but he forgot, tripped over it and broke his own neck!
Cat looking over someone shoulder
3 – “You stupid girl, I told you not to get that book!”
In 1804 things where a little crazy over in America and poor Alexander Hamilton was killed when he got into an all-out gunfight with the pope! At that time it was not uncommon for all people to carry a gun even clergymen.
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Scary cat looking up from under the coffee table
2 – “…you know too much, time to die!”
In 1992 Ilda Vitor Maciel of Rio de Janeiro died after being injected with soup! At the time she was having a stroke and the emergency telephone operator told her drugged up friend to keep her warm until the ambulance got there in the best way he can, so that is what he did!
Scary cat looking over down from cat stand
1 – “Curiosity killed the cat, and it will do the same for you.”
In 1649, Sir Arthur Aston was walking down a dark ally when he was set upon by muggers. He didn’t have any money so they decided to take his false leg, he clung onto it for all he was worth but only ended up being beaten to death by his own wooden leg!