THE UNWRITTEN RULES OF HOTORNOT
Whether you’re just catching the HotOrNot flame or you’re already a full blown addict, having a knowledge of the unwritten rules will help you take your love game to the NEXT LEVEL. Henceforth, you will be a HotOrNot master, and you’ll swap unsuccessful 3 a.m. last stands at some bar for actually pulling off digital love-fueled one-night stands from the comfort of your iPhone. You’ll be a shining knight of staying overnight. Or maybe at least when you’re bored in your Bushwick apartment watching “Breaking Bad” reruns you’ll have a better chance of a successful hook-up?
The unwritten rules…
1. Be good looking.
2. Don’t be too persistent. Play it cool.
3. Don’t message someone “Happy Hump Day” on Wednesdays. Other days of the week maybe.
4. Use the Dwight Schrute “Money Beets” method and put your deceptively good-looking photos first.
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5. Never message immediately after a match. Always wait at least 1-2 hours. Remain mysterious.
6. If you have a friend who is hotter than you are, use a photo of both of you. Keep ‘em guessing and it can only help you.
7. That said, don’t just have group shots because potential matches will totally swipe left if they have to try too hard to figure out who you are.
8. DON’T DRINK AND HotOrNot.
9. But mostly ignore that rule because turning it into a drinking game is much more fun.
10. Really you should just play the HotOrNot DRINKING GAME:
- Drink if you get a match.
- If you have mutual friends/interests in common drink for that many seconds.
- If you stumbled upon a person you know, everyone drinks INCLUDING THAT PERSON. Invite them over immediately.
11. Don’t let your friends/coworkers “ghost HotOrNot” for you, or you’ll end up telling a random meathead that he has “nice guns.”
12. Don’t get too scroll-happy lest you accidentally say “no” to a “yes” (or vice versa) — there are absolutely no do-overs in HotOrNotland.
13. Don’t use HotOrNot to fall in love.
14. Don’t come on wayyy too strong.
15. But it’s cool if you include a photo of you with Woody Allen.
16. When checking no, you must state the reason why you are. Examples: “Too short” “Too preppy” “He’d hate my guts” “I’d hate his guts” “Is he joking with that selfie?” etc. etc.
17. When stumbling upon an ex, always ❤ just to see if you match. Then immediately block.
18. When stumbling upon a friends’ ex, always ❤ to see if they are a creep. Then immediately block.
19. If you find yourself on a zombie browse fest and you can’t close the app, the next person you find you have mutual friends with is the signal that your HotOrNot session is over for the rest of the day.
20. You’ll look like a d-bag if you use a LinkedIn-style office headshot as your default pic.
21. It’s all about LOCATION so make sure you’re not in an area notorious for bad hookups.
22. EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS!!
23. Don’t message a girl asking if she wants to be your “new little sister.”
24. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: Always HotOrNot in moderation, or there will be no more HotOrNot for you. #HotOrNotApp
That said, when you find someone the possibilities will feel endless!
POTENTIAL LOVE CONNECTIONS EVERYWHERE!
Now go forth with this new knowledge and conquer the hookup world!
We’re all rooting for you
Images from Getty & screenshots from personal accounts unless noted otherwise